Nidan Essay by Ami Neiman, student of Sensei Patricia Hendricks Aikido of San Leandro
	I view growth as a process of change. In training, my Sensei has always been clear about making sure that everyone on the mat understands and practices basics. These are the ultimate central truths to what we do, but I feel that they are merely the introduction to the actual concepts. At the time I became Shodan, I began to understand the basics and could delineate the various components of Aikido techniques. I say components because in my opinion, each step or technique that we are taught at a basic level is actually just a single component of a process. For example, we are taught in the 31 kumijo that step 4 is an overhead block, and step 5 is a shomen strike. Viewed as a slightly larger process, however, I think the two steps could be seen as a single shomen strike with a block built into it, just as an added layer of protection. This, in turn, could be looked upon as a single component in a larger series. Perhaps this could be extended to the point where the entire 31 kumijo itself is a single concept. Perhaps one day I will unify it all. The term "concept" should not be regarded in the western sense in this discussion. We cannot use Aikido from a conscious mental perspective. One cannot "think" one's way through a randori, one cannot deal with an unexpected, fierce attack by thinking about each response consciously before proceeding. Concepts need to be practiced. This is the secret of Aikido. I read somewhere that in order for a human's nervous system to incorporate a new movement, a human being needs to repeat that same movement 1800 times. I don't know how scientific this claim is, but I do know that there is some measure of truth in it. The secret of Aikido is to train: good day, train; bad day, train; feel like training, train; don't feel like training, train! Of course, taking this to extremes can lead to imbalance, so another aspect of training is finding balance. Ultimately, however, the consistency needs to be there. Is consistency sufficient? I don't think so. Some people practice for many years and don't really progress in a measurable direction. The reason is that they don't have a focus in their training. They just train. This is good, but again, I think it is not enough. Intelligence does have a place in martial arts. In order to successfully deal with an attack, it is intelligent to think through a hypothetical attack and the appropriate responses to it. It then becomes a question of training (perhaps 1800 times!) with that attack and set of responses in mind. "In mind" then becomes the paradox of Aikido. We cannot think through an attack, yet we think in our training? Of course, since ultimately the "concept" migrates from our brains to our centers. Once the concept is in the center, all conscious thought becomes unnecessary, and in fact, a dangerous hindrance. I have seen some friends continue training well past their 20th year in the dojo, and others lose interest after a period of time. The best explanation I have for my motivation is the concept of growth. Anyone would become bored doing the same thing over and over again, and I understand why they leave. The concept that keeps me going is what I mentioned with the 31 kumijo. Everything in Aikido is like that. I am motivated because every time I train, I focus on ever-increasing circles of understanding, which lead me to even more general understanding of how to deal with an attack. What is also fascinating to me is the fact that there are many ways to understand an attack and its resolution, depending for example on relationship with jo or bokken. Each way of understanding helps contribute to the character of an aikido student, because the combination of methods one chooses eventually develops into a cohesive character which defines the person as a martial artist. I therefore look upon my development in Aikido as a reflection of character and style that is continuously evolving. The day it becomes static is the day I have ceased to think. I hope such a day never arrives, and therefore hope never to reach a pinnacle of understanding. This current dan rank is confirmation at having completed a new circle of understanding, and it is part of a much larger picture.